Stop the Madness

March Madness in Kentucky usually means Big Blue Nation and their basketball.  I am finding it difficult to fully invest in the team this year, not only because they seem to be inconsistent, but I am really tired and not fully invested in learning their names.  I mean, seriously, they change every year, and at my ripe old age of 50, it is just exhausting.  And that is sad to me.  

My job over the last 10 years has required me to also learn new names and new faces.  I have discovered that as an introvert, and an older person (as they say in Britain), it's difficult to WANT to learn.  I remember a comedian on Bob and Tom said "I have met enough people" or something like that.  And I think I have reached that quota myself.  

Relationships are hard to maintain.  When you care about relationships, you want them to be high quality, and so there is no time for blathering about with people that are high drama, or just high maintenance (which can be the same thing actually.)  I desire deep conversations that mean something, and people that want to know who I am as much as I want to know who they are.  It's pretty easy to figure out in a relatively short period of time who actually fits that bill, and it is a very small number.  Which is good for me actually, since I have met enough people.  ha. 

Speaking of madness in March- this weather is unbelievable.  We have high sixties and even pushing seventies, and then it plummets to the 30's with snow flurries.  We are about to have another go at that for next week (it's cold now and I know this because I am burrowed under my down comforter).  With all this back and forth, I am sick for the 3rd time this winter.  It is irritating.  And of course, Lee is sick as well, although this time I got the prize for the sickest person in the house.  Coughing, fever, whole 9 yards.  So my darling husband, who is so ingenious, rigged a steam shower.  When you don't have a steam shower included in your bathroom renovation, you do this:

Pretty nifty, huh?  So he was able to steam it up and now he is talking glass to me.  He wanted to put up a glass partition during the reno and I liked it open. Mainly because I am lazy and didn't want to have to keep that high glass CLEAN (it will require a step-ladder and everything).  But NOW he says it will be so wonderful and he also wants a door-maybe one that will go all the way to the ceiling so we can actually have mold too!  I don't think this will happen and you want to know why?  It would kill his internal need and nature to MacGyver his way into and out of things.  And that is what I am here for.  Encouragement for all his gifts and all that they bring me-wink wink.

Faith shall be my eyes

Like most, I am sure, I have a tendency to ask others to assist me in justifying my feelings instead of asking God to make sense of them.  And yet.  When I finally get around to asking him for help, many times He promptly answers.  Last night after a rough end of the work day with a migraine and unpleasant phone conversation, I consulted my good friend to assist me and she (per usual) turned the wayward hiker back on the narrow path.  And then on the way to the hospital, Chris Tomlin serenaded me (or He did thru Chris- let's be accurate here!) with "I Will Rise".  That song.  Those words.  But He spoke to me thru "Faith shall be my eyes".  He wants me to use my faith, as shaky as it is, to be my eyes when I view others that take me down, or that irritate me or whatever.  My faith in Him Who loves me beyond anything I could ever imagine-or HOPE for-from any human, family or otherwise.  That knowledge of his immense and unconditional love for me, gives me the faith to see others thru His eyes.  Faith shall be my eyes.

Lynn is progressing so well- as I take the night watch, and pray for his healing and for his upcoming barium test on Friday to be exactly what it needs to be, He assists ME in putting life in perspective.  Perspective allows us to allow faith to be our eyes.  It also brings that process of living each moment to the fullest- being in the "now" instead of always trying to think ahead or look back with regret.  Being present.  In the moment.  Father thank You for Your perspective, Your eyes and your servant Judith the nurse from Cameroon who loves You and looks for opportunities to honor your Presence in her life and share You at every opportunity.  Thank you for loving me enough to give me opportunities to witness Your presence in other people and places.

Father, I pray for healing for Kelsey, that she can get out this weekend for her birthday.  She has spent so many birthdays in the hospital, I pray that this is one year she doesn't have to.  I know you have a plan for her and for Lesley and Leo.  I pray that you give them words and visions to keep them on the narrow path of trusting You.

Thank you for all you give to each and every one of us.  In Jesus' precious name I pray.

From room to room

Life is full of rooms and Sherre Hirsch, through personal experience and a multitude of counseling examples, shares how to effectively cross over the threshold into a new room without getting stuck in the hallway.  This concept of thresholds is a great word picture to visualize how we live and grow through our experiences, however, depending on the age of the person reading this book, the revelation that occurs will be different.  

I was a little turned off at first by her flippant way of dismissing having faith in God, and putting more emphasis in having faith in yourself, because in my personal experience, faith in God has been the foundation of all my decisions and comfort as I struggle through this life.  As I continued to read, I could see how the message was still sound, and could reach many who are not believers in God.  I also realized that this is coming from her experience of being "stuck in a hallway", and how she found a way to cross the threshold.  

I enjoyed the stories, which fleshed out the concepts she was formulating, and I agreed with most of them.  Some of my favorite quotes are:

• "If I know where I have to be on the Tuesday after next and what I will be doing next summer, then I don't have to think about how little control I have.  I can just disconnect.  I can turn off that channel of fear.  I can pretend that I am in control when in fact I am really just on autopilot."   This is one of the most difficult struggles I have had (as well as many of my friends), and will always have as part of our struggle to do life on our own, apart from God.  We need to learn to be present and to live life to the fullest, right now.  We never know where life will take us, or what "thresholds" He will bring us to cross, but trying to control too much of our future may blind us to the present. 
• "It is easier metaphorically to run a race with a finish line than to go on a long run with no end point."  This was referring to making big life-changing decisions, and not being able to see how the change would affect the relationships in the future.  This is very true that we want to be able to make decisions based on how we know things will turn out, but the reality is we will never be able to predict how our decisions will affect others.  This is where you truly have to weigh the pros and cons, and if you are a believer, pray for guidance, and take a step.  As Sherre says later in the book, "moving forward into a new room- even if it is very imperfect-may be the best way to find answers.  Sometimes it is only by making a decision to cross into the wrong room that the threshold to the right one can possibly be revealed."  
• "What if each one of us developed a Wait Box for life?"  The concept here is to wait 24 hours before responding to "potentially life-changing decisions".  Wow- if we did that, the world would be a better place.  Just write down your issue, wait, and then respond.  I will be trying that more often.  
• As I have grown in wisdom, I have been able to grasp the concept that we cannot predict other people's responses and we are also not responsible for them.  Everyone is responsible for their own choices.  As a mother, this is very difficult to realize and accept, however, it is freeing!  Sherre goes on to challenge the reader to "pause before we judge another and ask ourselves, What is their fear?  The point of this question is to force you to interrupt your judgment and instead recognize that most of the time people are afraid and there responses are driven by their fears."  I liked this because it enables you to actually have an avenue to approach this concept with clarity. 
• "We may not have control over the situation, (but) we do have control over how we respond."  See above- we choose how to respond.
• "Statistically people are the happiest in their sixties, not when they are in college or even as children."  Yay!  I have hope for the future!  And yes, I have to agree, as I get older, I get happier.  I think a lot of that comes from acceptance of our past and how that has affected our future, and the wisdom in not taking life too seriously.  

Overall, Thresholds has many good nuggets of information, but I struggled with her stance that God is not an important factor, and I had to read it carefully to discern what was a good message and what needed to be left behind. 

**I received Thresholds, by Sherre Hirsch, from Blogging for Books, for this review. 

Sweet Life in the Summertime

Sweet Life in the Summertime- blogging while watching the Wimbledon Men's Semifinals.

Summertime is always a time for me to refresh and rejuvenate, because I have 2 months of no "official" working.  However, the past three summers has been full of classes for my degree, and I didn't have quite the same recharging time that I need to be fully ready to go in the fall.

This summer started out a little hectic, but looks like the last few weeks will be the slow down period for me.  I need to get my regular diet back in sync with Paleo and exercise regularly as well as get as many projects completed before August 1st!  The clock is ticking!

I have read some great books so far this summer.  One I am reviewing is actually a cookbook, Pure Food.

The author is Veronica Bosgraaf, the creator of the Pure Bar.  Her bio can be found here: http://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/authors/179049/veronica-bosgraaf/

Like so many of us that want to revamp our eating lifestyle for our families, she came up with some amazing healthy options when her daughter declared she was a vegetarian.  Her Pure Bar was the first  product of her experimentation in the kitchen with these new ideas.

Although it is not "paleo", the cookbook has some good recipes that can be used for good clean eating/paleo.  My favorite part of the book is that it is organized by month and seasonal vegetables.  This obviously makes it easy to buy fresh fruits and vegetables and then actually find a recipe to use them in!  Because those wonderful tart cherries are in season in July, and I have bought several pounds already, I will be trying the Cherry, Cucumber, and Almond Salad for a neighborhood potluck this weekend.  Veronica also has a cherry cashew Pure Bar, but I have only sampled the original chocolate brownie.  I love the cherry Larabars, so I am sure I would love her Pure Bar in that flavor as well.

The few of the recipes that I have tried so far are the easy ones that I already had the ingredients for like Roasted Broccoli with Hazelnuts and the Scalloped Potatoes.  Many of her recipes have ingredients that are difficult to find, unless you are already shopping for clean eating and frequenting  specialty stores like Whole Foods.  Even then, it can be a challenge.  Overhauling our dietary lifestyle has taken a lot of time to plan and learn how to substitute ingredients and then to FIND the new ingredients.  I am a lazy cook, so I need something I can grab quickly and put together for a healthy meal.  The possibility of Pure Food's monthly organization assisting me with some new recipes and planning ahead with the ingredients needed will increase the chance that I will try many more.

On another note, there are some other good books that I have read for pleasure this summer that have had an enormous impact on me.  The first one is Peace Like a River by Leif Enger.   Crazy enough, I had written a quote from that book in my journal 18 months ago, so when I opened it and read the first chapter, I was like, "Wait.  What?"  Considering I picked it up for $.75 at a used book store, I really enjoyed the fact that it imparted such great storytelling and enjoyment for me.  Similar to the narration of A River Runs Through It, the author weaves a tale of his childhood relationships with his father and his siblings, and all the young angst that goes with it. I loved it.

The second book is The Invention of Wings, by Sue Monk Kidd.  I was a little hesitant at first to read another book of hers because I didn't not enjoy The Secret Life of Bees very much.  But this book is fantastic.  I love historical fiction, however, at the end I discovered that though much of the storyline was fictional, the characters and much of the historical timeline was real.  The Grimke sisters existed and were very pivotal in the abolitionist and women's rights movements in the early 1800s.  I was fascinated by the struggles that Sarah had with her heritage as daughter of a planter class family who owned slaves and her need to have a voice.  It really had an effect on me with the struggles I have faced, as an introvert, but needing to find who God wants me to be.  At almost mid-life (ha), I am beginning to feel more settled in who I am and comfortable with my stance as an individual, and not just who my family perceives me to be.  Not sure that makes sense, but that is exactly what Sarah wrestled with and she eventually stepped out in faith and made some very difficult decisions for her time.  Decisions that changed the course of history.  I highly recommend reading this book.  We are now planning a trip to Charleston this December around Christmas and I am anxious to see her family home there.

Now I must get back to my chores- family wedding tomorrow means family visiting here tonight!

Blessings!  Mel

** I received Pure Food from Blogging for Books for this review.